By Conor Twomey

There’s nothing like a driving holiday, I think. I’ve been on package hols and they do nothing for me, and most bus tours are nine parts bus, one part tourism.

No, if you want to relax, enjoy a country and really explore the countryside, you need to drive yourself around. You’re your own boss, control your own timetable but by the same token, you’re responsible for your messes so there are a few things to take into account before you go.
 
You’re Kidding...
 
It’s often not something people think much about, but for many people long journeys in the back of a car is their idea of hell. Holidays are meant to be relaxing, but taking the car can really add to the strain of going abroad.

For a start, children are awful travel partners and while a driving holiday might seem like a cost-effective way to see the sights, it can very often be a chore for all concerned.

The kids’ll get bored and fight a lot and no journey is short enough for them. If you know your kids and think they’ll be OK in a confined space for a long time, then more power to you. If you’re not so certain then all I’m saying is be prepared for some back-seat stress.

Of course you can make life easier for kids. Fit booster seats for younger kids, which will not only let the safety belts work effectively and sit more comfortably on their delicate skin, they’ll also let them see more of the country they’re visiting. This goes a long way to making their lives more pleasant, as well as helping to prevent motion sickness.

Another thing that makes children carsick is cigarette smoke. Smokers tend to smoke more when driving, so ban yourself from smoking when you drive because not only will it make non-smokers very ill, everything in the car will stink.

Denying yourself cigarettes while driving will also force you to take more breaks. The temptation is always there to keep pressing on to make time, but if you break more often, everyone stays fresher, less cranky and the miles will peel by more quickly. The safety advantages in terms of dropped fag-butts and flying ash can’t be overlooked either.

Get your back-seat passengers a CD walkman each, so there’s no arguing about what’s on the stereo and you’ll actually be able to listen to your own CDs. Buy them a CD pouch each to store them and have a stack of AA batteries to keep any electrical appliances going while you’re at it.

Here’s a particularly useful tip - don’t let them buy any CDs for about a month before they go. Offer to buy any CDs they want for them, on the condition that they save them for the trip. That way you’re guaranteed some quiet time along the journey. I’d also recommend releasing these new CDs on a staggered basis and don’t forget the same trip can be applied to Gameboy games or books too, provided such activities don’t make them motion sick.
 
Short straw, Jimmy? You go on the roof rack!
 
Is your car suitable? Are you attempting to squash five people into a 1.0 litre Micra and drive to Greece? Forget about it - there'll be blood on the floor before you get to mainland Europe.

Two adults and two kids is the MAXIMUM you should put in something like a Focus, and don’t even think about going in anything smaller unless there are just two of you.

People need at least that much ‘personal space’ so make sure there’s enough room for everyone to breathe. You’ll need a Mondeo to carry four adults in peace, and an MPV to carry any more.

Seven-seater 4X4s aren’t good vehicles to travel long distances in because they generally have vague and slow steering, which becomes wearing to drive because they tend to wander about and you’re constantly adjusting the line as you drive along.

They also don’t behave well in an emergency and unless you have a Range Rover, the ride will wear everyone out.

Don’t forget to consider the age and previous history of the car. If it’s let you down in the past then perhaps it’s not the best car to travel in.

Even your Focus, if it’s just the 1.4, will have to work hard and won’t be particularly fun to drive when laden with bags. Make sure your car can handle the weight and is comfortable to drive for long periods. Your safety and health depend on the car’s suitability.

Ideally, Golf-sized cars should be 1.6 litre at least, or better still, diesel-powered, while all Vectra or Mondeo sized cars will need to have at least a 1.8 litre engine.

In fact, any car you take on long journeys should, ideally, be diesel because diesel cars have more torque which suits motorway chugging, while burning very little fuel and therefore extending your range.

If your shocks, brakes or tyres are even slightly dodgy, replace them, because they’ll need to be in peak condition for a long journey. It’s a good idea to service the car before you go, even if it’s not due for one for a while.

Get everything checked while you’re there, including things you mightn’t normally think of, like the handbrake adjustment and the condition of the spare tyre.

It’s also vital that you remember that manufacturers recommend you increase the tyre pressure when a car is laden. Consult the owner’s manual for the revised tyre pressures.

Make sure your windscreen is in good nick, the wipers are fresh and the fluid levels for washers are topped up.

Anything lose or squeaky in the interior will have to be fixed or it will slowly grind you down with irritation as the trip progresses.

Air conditioning is a big bonus. Open windows can’t alleviate the clamminess of a continental summer, especially in traffic.

If your car is not suitable, look into renting. You’ll find plenty of advice on how to go about that in our Car Rental Advice section.
 
Vot do you meaning you are not knowing zis law?
 
Alas, few nations are as lax about law enforcement as ours. England, France, Holland and Germany, in particular, are draconian in their appliance of the law, so know the traffic regulations of the nation you are entering.

I couldn’t begin to tell you every possible thing to watch for here, but I can give you a general guide. If you break the speed limit constantly, you will get photographed or hauled over by the local ‘Gendermarie’ before long.

They probably won’t speak English very well and aren’t likely to be much pleased with you, so it’s best to stick to the speed limits.

If you’ve bought a brand new car lately you’ll notice that the speedometer is now in km/h thanks to Ireland getting in line with the EU. All speed signs are km/h and the odometer will be in km/h as well. If you’ve still got a mph speedometer you will have km/h also displayed on it. You can obey the limits using the km/h but just so you know 120km/h is 74mph, 100km/h is 62mph and 60km/h is 37mph and 50km/h is 31mph.

All European countries expect you have your driver’s licence with you at all times and forgetting it could land you in a lot of hot water.

They are, by local law, entitled to impound your car until they have proof you own it, so if you pack nothing else, pack your licence and Vehicle Licensing Certificate.

You’ll have to have your passport with you too and they may want to see your European insurance certificate.

You’ll have to get onto your insurance company to get hold of one of these because they’re the only proof of insurance accepted across Europe.

You must have this green form as proof that your car is insured and legal for use abroad, otherwise they’ll keep you waiting for hours until they confirm you’re above board.

Your insurance company won’t issue this green-coloured form to someone with a provisional licence, for example, because they’re not permitted to drive anywhere but Ireland. Most countries issue limited learner permits, you see.
 
Ah, insurance. Where would we be without it? The Bahamas I think…
 
It’s good to tell your insurance company where you’re going and how long you’re going for, rather than springing a surprise phone call on your broker from Sicily.

Put it in writing, just so they have a written record of your plans so that should anything happen, it’s all above board.

You might want to look into the fine print of your policy at this stage and make sure you’re covered for things like foreign hospital bills, recovery and alternative transport should your car get lunched.

Also find out where you stand in the case of theft or break in and know what you need to have to make a claim (in terms of documentation etc), so you’ll have it on your return. Make sure, too, you have international windscreen cover and know the numbers to call in the event of a mishap.

As a secondary back up, it’s also a very good idea to join the AA or RAC before you head away because it offers massive peace of mind to know that if your car breaks down in the middle of Spain at two in the morning, a tow truck will come and rescue you within an hour.

Take it from me, you’ll be glad you invested in their cover. I once blew an oil hose in a car having crossed the border from Spain into France and had to push the damn thing for five hours to get it off the motorway and into the nearest village. I then had to sleep in it and got done to the tune of €300 to replace an 80c O-ring and reattach the hose. If I’d invested in pan-European roadside cover, I’d have called a number, waited an hour, had my car towed away and repaired and would have been dropped to the nearest hotel. They might even have managed to fix the car for me there and then, free of charge.
 
Your right-hand man…
 
When driving in the UK, there’s not much you really need to worry about except that they’re not as tolerant about bad parking and last minute lane-changes as we tend to be.

Cutting people up is rife and if you hog the outside lane, they’ll just drive around you or, worse again, will sit on your rear bumper in a most alarming fashion.

Multiply Dublin traffic volumes and aggression by 10, and you get the idea of what most of the UK is like. As long as you remember how precious your cargo is and stay calm, you should be fine.

On the continent, there are more things to consider, not least the fact that your steering wheel is on the wrong side over there.

This can be a worry for many drivers and with good cause because all it takes is one slip in concentration for disaster to strike.

However, if you’ve never driven abroad, don’t panic. It’s a lot easier than it sounds. For a start, everything is the other way around so it ceases to be weird after you’ve negotiated the first roundabout at the ferry terminal.

Signage, road marking, slip roads are all set up to accommodate left hand drive traffic, conveniently, so you won’t be long getting used to that. You just need to be extra careful when pulling out of garages and B&Bs when you’ve let yourself relax for a while and aren’t as alert as you were earlier.

I’ve pulled out petrol stations myself and proceeded the wrong way up the road. You must combat this by putting stickers or labels in places where you’ll see them getting into and starting the car. There’s no point sticking them to the dials or windscreen because you’ll get used to them and ignore them after a few hours. A small coloured dot on the keys, on the door handle, an elastic-band wrapped around the handbrake, something that will remind you as you prepare to move away that you’ve got to stay right.

Car parks can be equally confusing, if at a much lower speed, so perhaps an arrow somewhere on the screen or dash as a glancing reminder is also a good idea. I know it sounds daft, but it works. 
 
Another rule of driving on the right is ‘NEVER trust your passenger’. Only the driver knows how a car will react at any particular point and only the driver can properly gauge distances because he or she is in a state of mental awareness that passengers aren’t.

Never ask a passenger if the road is clear and never ask them to tell you when to go. You’ll eventually end up getting into some type of a wreck if you do that. Similarly, when it’s our turn to be a passenger, shut up and let the driver get on with it.

The key to successful overtaking when driving on the right is hanging back a wee bit. Leaning across your passenger for a better look is one approach, but what also works well is looking well ahead at bends, and looking up the inside of slower cars and vans, possibly moving close to the verge for a peek at conditions ahead.

Clinging to the car in front severely limits your visibility, so for a better view of the road ahead, drop back. If you see an overtaking opportunity, pull out slowly and then accelerate as fast as you can.

Some overtakers seem afraid to pass the speed limit, but my advice is to get past your obstacle as fast as possible. As soon as you’re back in your lane, you can slow down again.

Be aware, if a car behind you is overtaking at the same time, that by standing on the brakes when you get back into your lane, you will panic him or her in the face of oncoming traffic, so get well up the carriageway before dropping back the speed.

Ideally, of course, I would recommend that you use the major routes, tolled or otherwise, if you need to go from A to B in a hurry, because on these motorways overtaking isn’t nearly as stressful or dangerous as it is on back roads.
 
Time, ladies and gentlemen.
 
Plan, plan, plan. And plan sensibly. Don’t set yourself impossible goals and remember you won’t have much of a holiday if you’re exhausted upon arrival.

Know where you’re going and how long it will take you to get there, then add two hours to that time to allow for getting lost in traffic and finding your hotel etc.

Allow for a 10-minute break every two to four hours, depending on the age of your travel companions. Know where you’re staying and ring every hotel, campsite or guesthouse individually the day before you leave to confirm your booking.

Have each location marked clearly on a map, while on a sheet of paper, write the route number of every road you’re travelling on, the directional road signs you’ll be looking for while you’re on those roads and the places where you’ll be turning off.

In other words, have your own set of pace-notes in your door pocket and follow the route numbers religiously as your main guide. Sometimes the directional signs might point to a different town to the one you expect to see.

Buy a new map, for God’s sake, and forget the one your dad bought after the war. Plan your trip carefully on the map, make a realistic plan and stick to it. Go through it with everyone, including the kids, because as they’ll be pretty bored on the trip they’ll be glad to help you look for signs and distinguishing features. It’ll make them feel more part of the adventure too.

Never take a chance on accommodation, especially when you’ve got kids with you, because you don’t ever want to force everyone to sleep in a cold car, and NEVER, ever plan a marathon last-minute dash to the ferry.

You’ll already be fatigued at this stage anyway and you’ll have a heart attack if you screech into the ferry port to be told you’ve missed it by 10 minutes. That’s assuming you don’t get arrested for dangerous driving first.
 
Every woman, every man, join the caravan of love…
 
My advice to people with caravans has always been to get counselling, but some folks just love the fact they don’t need to go tearing around looking for hotels and the like, and there is a lot to be said for that, I suppose.

Experienced caravaners know more about caravanning than I could ever tell you, so first-timers should dig out a few UK caravanning mags to get the best tips and expertise on what kinds of caravans are best and what specific equipment to buy.

My simple advice is that you should first try travelling around Ireland with your (possibly rented) caravan to make sure you’re able to manage parking and manoeuvring it and to make sure you’ll all be able to survive in one.

If you’ve driven on the continent already that’s a big plus, too, but make sure you have the right car for the job, because tearing the backside out the wrong car to save a few bob is false economy.

You’ll need new shocks, brakes and a clutch for a long trip in an unsuitable car, and that’s assuming you don’t bend an axle or wear out a driveshaft.

In fact, caravans are very hard on all cars, even big powerful ones, so a full service is recommended before you even think about heading away.

Your speeds are going to be very low and the ride quality impaired by the weight of the caravan, while fuel consumption is going to sky-rocket because you’re now as aerodynamic and heavy as a block of flats.

On top of that, campsites are almost, and sometimes more, expensive than hotels so consider the idea of renting a caravan carefully. You’ll see less, travel more slowly, put an added strain on your car and won’t save than much when you add in increase ferry, fuel, wear and tear and campsite bills.

On the plus side, you won’t need to pack and unpack all the time and you’ll never be stuck for a place to sleep, even if it’s in a lay-by somewhere. Oh, and you have your own jacks, too.
 
Suffer from insecurity?
 
Most cars are very secure now, and unless criminals can get hold of the keys, it’ll be tough to get away with the whole vehicle.

However, even a broken window can ruin your plans and make the journey most unpleasant so avoid tempting fate and be smart with regard to security.

Your car has foreign plates and is, therefore, an automatic target. Seek out busy areas or secure car parks during the day, and well lit enclosed car parks at night, whenever possible.

Leave NOTHING of value in the car, and carry your passport, licence, credit cards and money with you in (deeply un-cool but effective) travel pouches unless you can lock them all into a safe. Don’t assume your hotel room will be safe, either.

Camera bags, purses and CD players are all worth the five seconds it takes to smash a window so put everything in the boot or, better still, put it in your hotel before sightseeing if possible.

If you’re travelling with a partner, split the cash between you and make sure that he or she has a spare car key as well.

Avoid keeping things in handbags or wallets because they’re easily taken, and even when walking around the towns spread the cash you have on you amongst different pockets so you’ll never lose everything in one moment of misfortune.

After that, it’s simple things like removing the face from your stereo, locking the glovebox and putting phone-kits, Gameboys or anything else even vaguely stealable in a secure place out of sight.

Mostly, if they can’t see anything in the car interior, they won’t bother tampering with your car.

Finally, keep the phone numbers and addresses of every contact you have in your pocket at all times. At least if you get completely taken to the cleaners, you’ll be able to get to your hotel and won’t end up on the street with your family.
 
Anything else?
 
Yes. Bring lots of fluids to prevent dehydration and buy diet fizzy drinks - if they spill everywhere they won’t get as sticky as the sugary stuff does.

Don’t bring things like orange juice or fruit containers as they just go off. Instead, have plenty of flat mineral water and save the nice drinks for rest-stop restaurants.

Bring a mountain of loose change for toll roads, car parks, parking meters etc. You don’t want to have to try to get two 50c pieces from a cranky French street vendor.

With regard to snacks, don’t bring things that can melt, like chocolate. Biscuits are good, apples are OK, but oranges, bananas etc are a disaster. Popcorn and crisps are also good travelling companions, but don’t expect to be looking good when you get to the beach on the Riviera.

Bring plenty of small plastic bags to use as rubbish bags and place them in seatback pockets or hang them off the headrests for easy access. Make sure everyone wears the right clothes, too. Tracksuits, T-shirts and sandals are good, but jeans and boots are not. Make sure the urchins shower, too, before the journey.

When packing, have a smaller bag with things like spare socks and T-shirts that you can get at quickly if there’s an in-car accident or people get sweaty, and bring a bin-liner for laundry.

Don’t pack smelly gear back in with your good clothes: just chuck it in the black bag and worry about it when you get home. Oh, tissues and kitchen rolls will be your best friends on the trip, too, so make sure you’ve both in abundance.

Above all, drive safely and enjoy!